“Mom can I borrow 4 eggs?” Alisa asked as she and Asa, her five-year-old son, entered our kitchen this morning. “I brought Asa along so that we would have four hands to carry four eggs.”
Asa held out both hands with a big smile on his face. Being trusted to help his mom in this way was a big deal to this little guy. “Hold them carefully because they will crack if you drop them Asa,” Alisa added as they walked out the door and headed back to their home next door.
But he didn’t make it far with one egg slipping out of his small hand as he skipped down the sidewalk.  Asa stood there, frozen, looking down at the broken eggs and glancing up at me, standing in the door way.

Many thoughts whirled around in my head in those few seconds…

…. of how tempting it would be to say something like “You were told to be careful. Look what you did”  – to lecture him and point out how he had messed up.

But I was reminded of the importance of affirming kids right when they mess up…

– of being more vision driven than authoritative and that mentoring belief and confidence into my grandkids is a worthier goal than managing their behavior. So I cheerfully invited Asa back into the house and told him “Here’s another egg. This time I know you will get them both safely back to your house.” 

And he did. 

While it seems like a trivial issue, it was a moment when I could have easily chosen a judgmental “you-were-not-careful” response rather than a vision driven one.  Asa already knew he had make a mistake. Kids almost always do.  Our judgmental words and lectures may serve to merely make them less confident to try the next time.

I Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up….