Links for Parents Regarding 50 Shades of Grey


Whether you plan to see the movie, or not, please consider what these authors have to say on behalf of your impressionable teens.

A Letter to All Parents Regarding 50 Shades of Grey

by Erin MacPherson

I heard something very disturbing yesterday.  I was sitting in a coffee shop when a group of high school students (wearing uniforms from a local private Christian school) walked in and sat at a table near me.  They were talking loudly and I couldn’t help but overhear their conversation as they made plans to sneak out and go see the 50 Shades of Grey movie on Valentine’s Day.  My heart dropped when I heard this.  I have no idea who these students are, but I am terrified for them.

Let me give you a little background:  About a year ago, my friend Kathi Lipp asked if I would consider co-authoring a book about sex, women and modern Christian culture.  The book idea stemmed from a blog post that Kathi wrote about 50 Shades of Grey.  Kathi felt that 50 Shades of Grey was not only demeaning towards women and demonizing towards men, but it also was greatly affecting the state of Christian marriage in our country.  She also believed that sadistic, erotic literature led to the normalization of violence in marriage.

The response to Kathi’s blog post was… shocking.  Christian women defended the book, saying it was “a love story” and it was “just a way for women to start thinking about sex.”  They even went as far as accusing Kathi of being “prude” or “boring” because she felt God intended more for marriage and that women’s emotional and physical health was at risk.

Fast forward a year and Kathi and I have spent hours researching not only the cultural connotations surrounding 50 Shades of Grey but also the affects the book has on both women and men.  And we’ve learned some scary things.  And while much of the media surrounding the book has to do with erotica and mental pornography– which are rampant in the book–but there has been little discussion about another major facet of the book:  Abuse.


Fifty Shades of Nay: Sin Is a Needle, Not a Toy

by Marshall Segei

Before you buy a ticket and some popcorn — or before you talk to a friend who wants to read the books or see the movie — I want to put ten of God’s promises before you. My hope and prayer is that the clarity and power of God’s words will convince many of you to save your money and your heart, and help you do the same for others.


Five myths about Fifty Shades of Grey

By Emily Whitten for World Magazine

Despite what some Christians will tell you, this is a black and white issue.


Get the Fact About Porn

Neurons that fire together, wire together. Just like other addictive substances, porn floods the brain with dopamine. That rush of brain chemicals happening over and over again rewires the brain’s reward pathway ultimately changing the make up of the viewer’s brain. This can result in an increased appetite for porn.




  1. Thank you!!! My heart dropped when I heard recently about a company which makes teddy bears, offering a Fifty Shades of Grey teddy bear to order for Valentines day. This movie has been hyped up and actively marketed to our teens, and to adults.

    I read something the other day where people were interviewed regarding the oldest acceptable age to remain a virgin. Many answered 30ish for girls. Most answered early 20’s for boys. Why?? The girls in this survey said they wanted a man who “knew what to do” in the bedroom.

    Oh Ellen, we know much of the beauty of marriage is learning together, exploring the beauty and novelty of each other with love and in God’s plan.

    We are with you in prayer, covering this, having conversations wherever possible, pursuing conversation with our kids, even where such is uncomfortable.

    • Thank you!

  2. I appreciate Christian women speaking up boldly on this subject, and I appreciate what the second author said about passing judgment. In today’s culture, believers are so worried about passing judgment that many choose to abandon truth for the sake of love. I would make the argument that abandoning truth is not the loving thing to do. While truth should be seasoned with grace, sin is still sin. Let’s be clear: in the same breath, Jesus both embraces sinners and tells them to stop sinning. If you don’t believe it, go back and read the gospels. It’s interesting to me that the New Testament says both “Let us not pass judgment on others” (Romans 14:13) and “If your brother sins, rebuke him.” (Luke 17:1-4) Perhaps we need to rethink what it means to pass judgment. We can’t judge a person’s heart or their standing with God, but we must discern good and evil in the actions of ourselves and others so we can grow in wisdom and avoid the pitfalls.

    The second part of Romans 14:13 says “never put a stumbling block in the way of a brother.” Even if you don’t personally see anything wrong with this movie (I would argue that’s deception), it would be difficult to make the leap to say this movie isn’t dangerous for others. This brings me back to the first author. Would I want my teenage daughter seeing this? If there’s anything I’ve learned the past year, it’s that my actions speak louder than my words, and I pave the way for my children by my example. As Paul says, just because I can do anything, it doesn’t mean I should: “Take care that this right of yours does not become a stumbling block to the weak.” (1 Cor 8:9) Come on, parents, is 50 Shades really the legacy we want to leave for the next generation? Read Matthew 18:6 and hear it from the very mouth of God.

    • Amen!

  3. Wow! Thank you for letting us know about this. I personally would never read this book or watch the movie but I have heard many appalling details about it. I went to Walmart yesterday and saw a big kiosk advertising this book as a great Valentine’s day gift. The stand was in the middle of a high traffic aisle and was filled with stacks of this book, like candy displayed for kids. This generation has an epidemic of addiction to porn and this book seems to feed it. I don’t think this book represents real love at all. It represents the counterfeit of what true love is all about. One of Satan’s biggest target is our families so cover it with prayer.

    • So true!

  4. THANK YOU FOR BEING REAL…the media using our innate couriosotiy to draw us in, never considering the true ramifications. I have forward this blog onto my girls.

    Here is my email to them… ” I am sharing the below with you because I clearly understand the hype surrounding this movie. I agree that it is enticing, but the back story … the reality of this movie (book) cannot counter balance the motion people (men and women) will (could) be catapulted into …

    I have lived a few years, experienced a few things, and know that there are men out there that are enamored with kind, sweet girls. I know there are kind, sweet girls that are enticed by excitement, but have no balance to catch them when they fall.

    I caution you to what you allow your mind and reality to be exposed to…

    With much love I send this to two of you, my most precious of gifts. “

    • What a sweet and powerful letter to your girls. Thank you for sharing it.


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